Matejka

Twelve

Thought Train Tuesday:

Today I’ve decided to include another one of my personal writings. It’s something I’ve had swishing around in my mind for a while now, and it feels more appropriate than ever. I see so many people, women especially, competing with one another and trying to tear each other down. Why? We are all unique and full of worth in our own special ways. We need to see each other through, to lift each other up. Look around – you probably see beauty and quality everywhere around you. In architecture, in automobiles, in flora and fauna, in clothing and accessories – so why not also in people? Think of the world you live in as a giant art hall. The people around you are moving exhibits. You’re not going to love every person, but appreciate them either way; appreciate the qualities that you love in someone, and appreciate that you might not feel connected to others. Art is evolutionary; artists hone their skills over years and years of practice, failure and accomplishment. Appreciate then, too, that the moving exhibits around you are the same.

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“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.” – Martha Graham

I have no desire to be perfect. I find it an insult to my character to be referred to this way. To be perfect means to have reached an end, to stop – stop growing, stop learning, stop evolving. I am flawed, in many ways, and I am wonderful in many others. Nothing about me is perfect, but I am a priceless masterpiece. I am a work of art.

Art is meant to be flawed; that is what makes it incredibly beautiful. It displays proudly every ridge and crooked line. It doesn’t pick and choose what it shows. It doesn’t care what you think because it doesn’t matter. Your opinion doesn’t change it. It simply is, alive and raw, and giving a damn for no one. You may notice every out-of-place element and conclude that this renders it ugly, a monstrosity. No matter; though you disagree, its beauty remains intact. Strong and steadfast, under scrutinizing light, it does not falter.

What if we all began to see ourselves as works of art? Our souls are the artist of our bodily canvas. None can take the beauty that is subjective to your opinion alone. After all, what others think of you is none of your business. What you think of you is, and you’re still beautiful and strong; you possess unwavering merit.

XXOO

PS: I am OBSESSED with these incredible DUNE boots that I just acquired. Fun, creative sunnies from SunglassSpot – TONS of adorable styles, and super super affordable. Also, featuring my favourite jacket from Le Chateau – I’ve had so long I could probably say that it’s vintage haha!

Eleven

I did it. I’m a yogi – as of almost 2 weeks ago. …. Albeit, a SUPER noob yogi, but a yogi none-the-less! I’ve participated in yoga in the past, but I never could make the commitment needed both physically and mentally to make it a permanent thing. It’s something I’ve been thinking of revisiting for a really long time now – I was just afraid to take the first step. This year, I decided that I’m going to do whatever it takes to become a better, more authentic version of myself – so I took the plunge and signed up for an entire year. I know, I almost peed myself….but I figured, go big or go home, right?!

The studio I’ve joined is so great. Almost all of their classes are beginner oriented, and the instructors are so lovely. I’ve really been enjoying my time there, and I know this may sound crazy, but I’ve actually been noticing some pretty significant changes already. I don’t know how or why it happens, but yoga practice and meditative breathing changes you.

When life gets stressful, I’m usually one who goes straight to “worst possible outcome” and then I park myself in my worry chair, and rock forever on the front porch. Since I’ve begun classes, I’m noticing that each day it gets easier and easier to stress less, and gently guide my mind in a more positive direction. I’ve noticed myself being more kind to my reflection; instead of spewing words of hatred and loathing, it’s becoming natural to speak to myself out of love. To recognize the qualities I look for in others, and manifest them within myself. I’m also learning to project this new-found light of love on those around me.

I’ve learned coping skills in the last two weeks that I never would have thought of in my entire 28 years. I’m learning to see my life (and myself) in an entirely new perspective, and it’s so amazing. Gratitude. Self-Love. Appreciation. Calm.

Slowly, but surely, I’m moving towards where I’m meant to be, and this journey is bringing me so much happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of progress to make but somehow things just feel so much easier, lighter. This is something I’ve needed, yet denied, for far too long. Follow your instincts. ❤

PS: I went shopping in the ‘big city’ this weekend, and Victoria’s Secret had an INCREDIBLE sale on so I managed to snatch this super comfortable new outfit! These pants are so awesome – they are thick, yet not too constricting, which means you won’t feel like you can’t breath and your entire bum will not show through in downward dog. Bonus!

Ten

I’m going to deviate a little bit, and share in this post an excerpt from my book – a collection of personal prose. I’ve been noticing the last little while a trend, not just in my own life, but in those around me as well. With the new year, I’ve been making a lot of changes in my life, and this piece of writing can definitely fit that context. Can you relate at all?

(Side note: reminiscing back a few days ago to the super mild Canadian temperatures because tonight it is FREEZING! How many more months until summer?!!!!)

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“Backseat drivers. Those people who hop in to join you on a leg of your journey, and think it’s entirely appropriate to dictate how you drive. Slow down. Speed up! Use your turn signal. Stay farther back. You shouldn’t park there. Turn here – I know a better way. Some even have the gall to reach for the wheel, as if you’re not in control at all. Most of us have been this person, whether we’ve realized it or not. We all know these people; you’re probably holding a name in your mind right now. I’m willing to bet these same people are also backseat driving your life.

Why do we let people tell us how we should live our lives? Why do we carry such guilt when we stand up for ourselves? We don’t want to be a disappointment; it’s not in our nature to cause pain in another. But what about what YOU want? We have become so obsessed with tip-toeing around the feelings of others that we completely disregard our own. Taking care of ones self above all else has been labeled as selfish. This is false, and this mentality needs to disappear. You come first; if you are not taking care of you, then you are doing a disservice to others. Happiness and content ripple. Do not allow any other person to dictate how your life should be. If it won’t satisfy you, if it’s not what you want – don’t do it. We should never do anything for the sole sake of satisfying another’s wish for us.

Many people have probably told you to get a degree for a job that will make you rich. It all sounds great, and probably even practical, but is it what you want? A dollar sign doesn’t make you truly rich in life. What you want for yourself is important; more important than what anyone else desires for you. Your life’s road map should be created for you, by you.

If your dream is to become a doctor or a lawyer, then seek that dream. If you don’t want to go to college, then don’t! If you want to start a business, become a musician, or run away with the circus, then pursue those dreams. Seek and listen with your heart; throw all of your passion into whichever direction that leads you. Let no one tell you otherwise.

When someone tells you that you can’t, scream, “YES, I can!”
When someone implies that you will never succeed, say, “Watch me.”

Take the steering wheel of your life back. Keep a firm grip. The only person who can tell you that you can’t is yourself. But, you can.”

Nine

I’ve been a little busy getting crafty these last couple of days. I’ve been searching forever for somewhere to organize all my nail polish; my random tub just wasn’t cutting it anymore. I had looked everywhere locally and couldn’t find anything, and everywhere I looked online it was either not quite what I had in mind, or the price point didn’t match what I wanted to invest. That’s when I thought, “If you can’t acquire, then create!“… and this is what came out! I’m so happy with how it came out (thanks to a little help from a pretty awesome guy), but a few things to note if you take on this project yourself:

1) Make sure you actually measure it out, and don’t just assume you can do it “by eye”. I know this seems obvious, but I was super confident in my skills until nothing fit haha!

2) Make sure you measure BOTH height and width. After measuring height and finishing the building, I realized that the width was way more than I needed. Take into account what your preference is; maybe you’d like a wider shelf.

3) COUNT YOUR BOTTLES. Make sure that what you’re creating is actually room enough for everything required. Oh man, I feel like such a rookie for this mistake but sometimes when my creative juices flow, I just do (and the thinking trails behind). I definitely did not count my stock and I ended up about 2-3 shelves short of what I actually needed.

4) Accept whatever happens. I was so excited about this little project that I just dove right in and left everything to fall into place. Sometimes, this won’t happen (lol oops!) but learn from it. Everything teaches us, even things like creating a little polish shelf. I’ve learned to double check everything beforehand. I’ve learned how to better plan for something in the future. I’m also learning to be okay with something if it’s not exactly what I had in mind. At the end of the day, I still have a shelf that holds what I wanted it to – and my imagination and elbow grease are there to be proud of.

Appreciate what is, and leave what is not. ❤

Eight

So, I was thinking. As I was getting myself ready to head off to a Broadway show this weekend (more to come later about that awesomeness), I started to think.

As a teenager, and a young adult, I used to wear a lot of makeup. Most of it started up when I hit puberty and my skin flipped overnight to something I was so ashamed of. Even once it began to clear up a few years later, I still kept caking it on. It wasn’t to feel pretty, and it wasn’t because I loved playing with it – it was simply to hide. To hide myself, and to hide everything that I was ashamed of within me. I became so accustomed to this literal mask I would paint on each day, that eventually I forgot what a farce it truly was and I started to just accept that it was part of who I am.

Last year, I was forced to throw it all out since my skin once again took a nosedive. I haven’t been able to wear cover up since. I guess this must be my body’s way of finally pushing me to ‘face the music’ and live my true self. It hasn’t been easy….but it’s also been an incredible blessing.

Sometimes, it is just exhausting to function in this society. As a woman, there are so many expectations of who I should be, how I should behave and speak, what I should wear or how I should look…. eventually I grow tired of trying to keep it all straight. Unfortunately, men are not immune to the stereotypes of our society either. So, I was thinking. Why is it that I allow myself to feel less accepted when I choose an outfit like the one outlined in this post? When it’s not all “glitz and glam”, when it’s comfortable, when I choose not to wear anything on my face? Why do I allow myself to feel less than I am? Is this really how society has spun the arrow for us? To constantly be set in a direction that so many of us can’t follow. It shouldn’t be about how we are told or made to feel in comparison to the tabloids that we read, but how we actually feel in the presence of those who know us for all of our faults and insecurities, and love us anyway.

There are going to be days that you don’t want to even brush your hair. You’ll leave your house in sweats… but don’t sweat it. ROCK the SHIT out of those sweats honey! There are going to be days that you get all dolled up, even if you have nowhere to go looking so fab (and you KNOW you look so fab that you take 26 selfies just to document that perfect wing).

Both of these days are okay. In both of these scenarios, you are still as important, and attractive, and valuable. It’s OKAY to give yourselves a break; in fact I encourage it. Cut yourselves a little slack. You’re amazing, and talented, and worthy. You deserve it.

Seven

Sundays are always “down” days for me. I usually reserve these days as my recharge days. I’m a pretty introverted person, so I definitely need to make time for myself in order to recharge my batteries. Any other intro’s feel me??? Oh, I KNOW you do! Today, however, I had a few errands to run…and that always seems to turn into “What can I wear out in public that’s basically like staying in pyjamas, but will still make me feel like I put in some effort?”

Enter: Active Wear. I would live in it if I could. Anytime I get dressed in gym-type clothes, and I’m not actually heading to a gym, it always makes me laugh. I think of that spoof on Active Wear that was everywhere on the internet a while ago, you know…”Active Wear, Active Wear, buying groceries in my Active Wear…” LOL. But it’s SO comfortable, so how can you not want to be in it at all times?! You know, someone needs to create “professional chic” activewear so I can continue my obsession whilst at the office. Wouldn’t that be heaven?

Slipped into some of my favourite leggings, a boyfriend shirt (okay, it’s actually a “pj” top, but no one knew that – until now), and my favourite Skechers sneakers (for real, these are the BOMB). Threw my hair in a braided half top knot, and out the door I went! It was one of those days that I left the house hoping no one would really notice me, but I was pleasantly surprised when I was complimented on what I had thrown together. It ended up being a great reminder to always spread love and speak to yourself from a place of love. 🙂 We really are our own biggest critics, and we’re always more beautiful than we think! Keep that in mind next time you’re having a Sunday like mine. xx
Leggings – Mondetta
Top – La Senza
Jacket – Old Navy
Sneakers – Skechers
Sunnies – RayBan
Bag – Lacoste

Six

It’s 2016! I can hardly believe it, to be honest. How time flies…I’m not the only one who has minuscule recollection of the last two years, right?!!!

Well, we all know that the tradition to follow New Year’s is the New Year’s Resolution. So many of us will resolve to the phrase, “New Year, New Me!”…. but the older I get, the more unrealistic I feel that goal is. I don’t want to be ‘new’, I’d rather just be ‘improved’. This year, my only resolution is to work each day to move closer to becoming the person I want to be. Seems easy enough in theory, but in reality it’s much more difficult. Obstacles arise, suddenly bumps in the road start popping up – sometimes it’s even your own self that gets in your way.

This year, I want to smile more, just for the heck of it! To see more and do more and be present in each moment of each day. It’s so easy to get caught up in the bustle of the world around us, forgetting to take time to just BE.

My other goal, which may or may not be easier than my first, is to collect all the oversized knit sweaters I can find because let’s be honest – these things are like wearing a fashionably acceptable housecoat. They’re amazing!!! Also, I have a studio to shoot in now, so I definitely want to write more and photograph more. It’s a great escape to every day stresses of life.

I hope you all had an amazing New Year’s, and all the best wishes for the year to come xxoo
Sweater/jeans – H&M (my obsession)
Gorgeous lipstick – NARS

Five

So, I was browsing YouTube today and came across “stillGLAMORUS”. I watched a few of her videos and came across the post about her new hair cut… I fell IN LOVE… (Screenshot below).

Now, I too, struggle with the “growing my hair out” issue. My hair just never seems to grow and I get so fed up with the million different types and styles of extensions out there. They just plain drive me CRAZY most days.

I decided instead of cleaning like I planned, I would play around with my hair and make up… and I have to say I love it, but I am definitely not brave enough to make a permanent switch. I guess I’ll just have to style my hair this way every day…

Yay? Nay? Fill me in.

Four

Quicky post!

Ran some errands tonight and though I threw it together in a snap, I love this winter outfit. Just because Weather Network says its -19*C (but feels like -30*C) doesn’t mean I have to dress like the Michelin man. It’s all about the layers!

Outfit details (most of this unseen in photos):
Bottom – tights, shorts, thigh high black socks and of course my rubber booties!
Top – basic tank, black long sleeve, jean blouse and structured peacoat
And of course, couldn’t leave without my favourite toque! (that’s a beanie/hat for all of you non-Canadians)

Even though it’s so cold that even Frosty stays home, doesn’t mean you can’t still look good if you brave the weather. Really though, being born and raised in Canada, -30*C is balmy.

Side note: say hello to my little friend, Faye 🙂 She decided she was going to be in at least one of the photos I took.
(Sorry for the quality; my iPhone was all that I had available in my spontaneity)

Jacket – Old Navy, Skirt – Garage clothing, Boots – Call it Spring shoes

Three

Wow! Am I ever glad that exams are over and semester is officially done! I did not anticipate school to absolve my entire life, but it happens and I am so glad to have some time now to get back to the wonderful world of fashion blogging! Hopefully over break I can get a few more posts out. 🙂

Now, I love dressing up as much as the next girl, but sometimes you really just want to throw on some jeans and give your feet a break from the heels (or maybe that’s just me?). Even though you are “dressed down”, it doesn’t have to look like it!

My first casual look consists of your basic skinny leg jean, and two things that go remarkably well together for fall: leopard print and wintergreen. Throw these two together and you’ll always have a chic fall look, no matter what the garment. I chose to wear a basic long-sleeve tee in a leopard pattern, and my velvet wintergreen pointed flats (with scalloped edge for added awesome). Easy as pie! (If anyone can actually explain that saying to me, please do. If it refers to making pies, then it is a LIE…. it’s true to meaning for this reference of fashion anyway!)

Jeans – American Eagle, Belt – Guess, Shoes – Ardene, Top – Jules & James