Design – M A T E J K A

Lust For Life

Proclaiming to love yourself in this world is seen as brave, as courageous, as rebellious.

In a world that profits from your self-loathing, saying a big ‘Fuck You!’ to the people that perpetuate this hatred within you is seen as incredible…and I find that so disturbing.

I am not brave or courageous for loving myself.
I am not defying the odds, or society.
It is not heroic to love the flesh that you inhabit; it’s human.

Just tonight as I was waiting in line with my groceries, I glanced over and saw a reader’s digest style magazine, and every single cover line was about women shedding 2 pounds, 4 pounds, 10 pounds QUICK! I literally flipped it the bird, and I know it was a superfluous act, but it felt SO. DAMN. GOOD.

1 year ago, I would never have seen it that way.
1 year ago, I would have snuck that trash onto the belt hidden amongst the rest of my purchases.
1 year ago, I would have felt immense shame within myself seeing those bold-font reminders that I am taking up too much space in this world.

Today is a different story.
Not every day is easy but – this day, this hour, this minute, this precious fucking second, I can stand exposed in front of glass coated with metal amalgam and admire what is reflected back at me.

I can gaze at it with soft eyes that carry love instead of hated.
I can caress each curve, each line, each bit of abundance with compassion and pride.
I can move and twirl and bounce, and watch with joy and childlike whimsy.

It has taken me so long to stand here today. I am tired – literally fatigued – at the notion of having to wake up every day and despise this shell that affords me so much on this Earth. I simply refuse to do it any longer.

To love yourself allows your mind to truly be free.
To be free of invasive thoughts that steal the light of day.
To be free to see the stars that twinkle against the velvet night sky.
To be free to breathe in every molecule of oxygen so deeply that you taste the pine on the trees.
To be free to live with lust and valiance.
To be free to drink in the magic of the world that surrounds you.

I will not allow others to police my body any longer.
I will not allow others to impose rules upon my autonomy.
I will not allow others to cripple me within my own soul.
I will not allow archaic, misogynistic views of female nudity to remove my power.

I am here.
I am evolving.
I have worked hard to peel back the layers that have been plastered unwillingly onto me to keep me ‘sheltered’ and ‘compliant’.
I don’t want to be sheltered, and I will never be compliant.

I will own my womanhood.
I will own the divine beauty that resides in my soul.
I will own the flesh that houses every speck of dust within me.
I will own this life, and all that I am gifted by it.
I will shower with gratitude those who see my true light, and I will walk away from those who don’t.

And I will not apologize for any of it any longer.

“‘Cause we’re the masters of our own fate
We’re the captains of our own souls
So there’s no need for us to hesitate
We’re all alone, let’s take control…”

I am beholden to empowering, inspiring women like Jan Stolee (who is credited for the breathtaking photos below).

Without whom, I would not carry such meaningful conversation regarding change, allowing growth, and coming into yourself.
Without whom, I would be unable to (literally) see the spike in my confidence through her lens.
Without whom, I would still be ashamed of my uncovered skin – instead of being gifted the vision of the true beauty that a woman’s body holds.

Forty Two

Trying to get back into the swing of things since my “birthday weekend” last weekend.
It was a total blast, BUT…. I wanted to blog my other outfit and I totally forgot to take good photos while in it (aside from the tipsy photos I got with HORRID lighting that make me look like a demon coming out of the depths…) — So… now that I’ve got my laundry complete, I’ll be shooting that outfit next. Better late than never, right?

ANYWAY.

On a positive note, I bought the MOST AWESOME shoes for myself ’cause you know, when it’s your birthday, you TREAT YO SELF. If you can’t afford to frost your ears, fingers or neck (like me), then you frost those feet instead! I feel like that’s a lot more practical, anyway.

Peep these babies from Skechers – seriously.

So. much. bling. So. much. sparkle. SO. MUCH. HAPPY.

Also, they’re called the Shiny Dancer? WELL OBVIOUSLY that fits the bill just perfectly!
(shout out to my 16 years of competitive dancing!)

The next pair I get is definitely going to be these – the Bright Idea – Elevated. I was really torn between these and the Shiny Dancers, but if the decision involves bling or no bling …the bling will ALWAYS win out with me.

Aaaand, my shirt came in! I was so excited to see a package on my step from Wear Your Label.

This is the “I ❤ Me” tee. It’s soft, and comfortable, and a daily reminder to love yourself – and I think that makes it just one of the best t-shirts out there.

As an extra perk, it’s also currently on sale 😉 … get it here !

Here’s a better view of these beauties for you:

It’s also Mani Monday!!! I decided to have some fun and try to do emoji nails LOL. As you can see, it turned out pretty hilariously. I thought I was using the smallest brush possible, but apparently I was NOT. It’s all good. They still look pretty sweet – from far away.

All the best to you for the rest of your week!

❤

Forty One

I am horrible at this blogging thing. lol
With Instagram, it’s so easy to just have access to everything at your fingertips.
(So if you have Instagram, follow me there! You’ll see me much more active on that platform – @thewardrobe_key 😉 )

*sigh*

Here’s an outfit that got lost in the archives from a few weeks back.
I was so excited to wear this – the weather had cooled off quite a bit previously, but from out of nowhere popped a warm fall day (much like today!) and I could actually go out with bare legs and not be cold! … I live for days like that living with Canadian winters.

Knit top: H&M
Denim dress: Garage Clothing
Boots: Guess
Bag: Dug up from the bottom of my closet (cir. I have no idea what year…)

I LOVE pairing baggy knits over, well, everything when the temps get cooler and the leaves start changing. /swoon

When you’re walking past the haters like:

Hope you lovelies had a wonderful weekend!

❤

Twenty Six

When you live in Canada, and it’s “spring” (okay, almost) but you’re straight up sick of having to dress for winter weather. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.

SOLUTION:
Step 1 – Wear a dress, and bare legs (cause f**k snow, right?).
Step 2 – Throw on faux fur vest that, let’s be honest, is more like a giant rug with arm holes.

(FAB Winners Find! Still bloody awesome.)

I was playing around with looks last night. I recently got this ridiculously adorable dress (from Garage! Get it here) but I obviously bought it on a whim, and when I got it home I realized in horror that I had no idea how to style it.

That’s when I discovered that it goes exceptionally well with these amazing boots (courtesy of my S/O’s mama) and this ballin’ vest. Boho spring/summer chic, anyone?

One of the first things I thought of immediately after I threw it on (like I was a member of the Russian mafia) was a quote I’d seen online that goes like this:

“Walk in the club like what up I have social anxiety and I wanna go home.”

LITERALLY ME.

THESE BOOTS THOUGH. I am obsessed with them. I received them in November, and had tucked them away for summer. You can’t tell from a distance, but they are perforated and are technically “summer boots” so – not so Canadian-winter-friendly.

I caught a glimpse of the bright floral out of the corner of my eye, like the blinding of the sun when a cloud once covering it suddenly dissipates. IT WAS LIKE CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN.

“OH YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!”, I gleefully exclaimed.
“THESE ARE PERFECT!!!”

Since this weekend marks the official beginning of spring, I am hoping with every atom in my body that the snow will disappear promptly, and I can whip this styling out in real time sooner than later.

Additional bonus: Floral is SUPER in right now (I’m looking at you Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana – you masters, you). Rediscovering these boots couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! ❤

Gold accents.
THREE HUNNED HASHTAG SWAGGA.

Yeah, I went there. Happy Friday! 🙂

Twenty Five

Any ladies out there with itty bitty legs like me?

Ever find yourself checkin’ them luscious gams in the mirror, but think: WHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE A COUPLE INCHES LONGER?!

Have no fear, I have a solution for you – one that doesn’t involve a wheelchair and extensive rehab for months (I’m looking at you, leg extension surgery).

Pumps!

Look for a pair that has a pointed toe. The narrowing lines of the point will elongate your beautiful legs, boosting your height (sort of) – and your confidence.

** Extra length if you buy the pumps in nude!

I’m always looking for ways to feel taller, because yes, I do have a complex about my height. *insert blushing emoji here*

I saw these babies at Winners (right?!), and I LOVED everything about them. The colour obviously caught my eye first – hello, they’re cobalt blue – but the design was what really drew me to them. I’m loving the lace-up style with the sexy little cut outs.

Side note: There is a “rule” about little legs and ankle straps. That rule is to avoid them as they ‘cut off’ your leg at the ankle and therefore actually give the illusion of shorter legs. Let’s just avoid that rule for now. It doesn’t always apply.

I decided to play around with things since my usual go to is very black, or very white.

I feel like I’ve achieved “global” status with this look.

Global…get it?

You know, green/blue/tan? Earth colou…….. nevermind. I’ll just see myself out…

I paired these blue suede beauties with my favourite jade pants (Urban Behavior), and this AH-MAZING faux fur coat (H&M). Honestly, this jacket makes me feel so thug…but like, Beyonce thug. Is that even categorically correct?

MY POINT IS, I feel so badass/Queen-like in this piece (also, very warm so very practical).

If you don’t already own a ridiculous(ly awesome) jacket like this, you should definitely invest in one. You’ll cherish it and BONUS: if you’re socially ~~awkward~~ quiet like I am, it’s a GREAT conversation starter. People will be asking if they can pet you, left – right – and – centre.

It’s not that creepy, I swear.

If it does start to get overly weird, then you’ll look fabulous as you run the opposite direction. I recommend practicing the running if you’ll be wearing your blue suede shoes.

This post got kind of weird. Sorry.

(Not sorry)

For a 4 inch heel, these shoes are actually quite comfortable. Especially for naps mid-shoot (see below).

Ladies, don’t be afraid of heel height. It all depends on the style of the shoe. If the shoe supports you in all the right areas, then the height of the heel won’t be so intimidating.

Now that you know what to look for — Happy shopping! 🙂 ❤

Bonus Material

If you REALLY want to feel small and insignificant, take a journey into the mountains. Every so often I need that escape, and I had the privilege this past weekend.

To remind me to stay humble, and to remind me that my troubles really are non-existent in the grander scheme. The fresh mountain air also does wonders for a soul. I swear, it’s truly magic at work…like some kinda Harry Potter sorcery. Ya feel me?

Twenty Two

This illness is seriously kicking my arse. HXC. Ugh.

I’ve been on a ‘positive’ journey this year, but let me tell you – it is HARD to stay positive when everything hurts or aches and you’re having trouble getting proper nutrition, which just further drags you down.

When the sun doesn’t shine anymore, so-to-speak.

It makes me realize just how much I take my health for granted. It’s time to make that shift back to appreciating my every day abilities, and spend less time pondering what I can’t do in this moment. Truthfully, I can do anything. It’s just difficult right now and I’ve been having a mini pity party the last few days about it.

Feel free to take out your tiny violins and sing along to the tune… wah wah wahhhhhh

Shoutout to all of the people in this world who live with chronic illness and constant pain, and still manage to kick butt and get shit done with a smile – you the real MVP.

On the brighter side, I’ve been able to hella level up in COD, so that’s the bonus to this whole situation. But enough about that. Let’s talk about clothes!
~~(Something that makes me super happy no matter what else is going on)~~

I’m still obsessing over the high-waisted jeans, and these ones that I found are extra awesome because they have a HUGE bell flare to them.

High waist. Massive bell. Clearance for Five Bucks (again). TRIPLE WIN.

You also may have noticed that beautiful blob of grey hanging beside my shoulder.

That is my new homegirl, Rhea (Kors).

I have been searching high and freakin’ low for the last year at least for a backpack that caught my eye. Something classic, something simple, something solidly coloured, something smaller. Seems like an easy enough list to fulfill, right?

WRONGGGGGGGGGGGG. SOOO SOOO WRONG.

It was totally on a whim that I decided to step into a Michael Kors that day and just “browse”, as I had done previously so many times. I have NO idea how I missed Rhea before on the countless times I’d visited MK, but it was fate this day when I happened upon her. Especially when I looked at her price-tag and saw a number under 250. HOLLA!

It was like a backwards Academy Awards speech. My wallet thanked me for spending reasonably within my limits. My heart thanked me for finally fulfilling it’s material wish. My right shoulder and neck thanked me for finding a solution to the constant torture they’ve endured carrying a single strapped purse filled with 5 lbs worth of crap…crap that I insist on carrying everywhere (even though statistically there is basically nil chance that I will need 95% of it, BUT THE CHANCE IS STILL THERE).

My left shoulder can now carry it’s weight ~~(haaaaaa, see what I did there…~~).

It’s only fair.

I am so looking forward to the days that I can step out in this outfit without having to layer a massive winter jacket over top of it. How much longer until the grass turns green?!

PS. I do NOT look like this currently. I took these photos a few days ago before this Throat Beast got a hold of me. Currently, I am curled up in sweats and tissues, with my Saje diffusor furiously working beside me. I smell good though, because I did make it to the shower today. Celebrate the little victories.

PSS. You’ll see these curls in quite a few posts right now (or maybe all). That is what happens when you decide that you need to trim your bangs but think you can handle it all on your own.

PRO TIP: If you’re me, you can’t and you will definitely mess it up.
At least my bangs grow fast.

It’s almost Friday. Hang in there, beauties! ❤

Twenty One

Well that was an interesting week.

I have been so ill, but the optimist (?) in me just thought,
“Oh this is just a stress cold. It’s fiiiiiiiiine.”

But, it wasn’t feeling all that fine, and so I drug myself to the doctors today to find out that it could be ~~(probably, most likely, almost certainly)~~ strep throat! Huzzah!

I’m actually okay with this. Any excuse to stay in the pj’s, amirite?!

Thank God for backlogged photos.

Aside from feeling horrid, I’ve also just been so distracted lately. You’ve seen that puppy video floating around … you know the one titled “When You Can’t Do Life Because You Get Distracted By Everything”?

Literally me. #TooSchoolForCool

In all honesty, I tend to get sidetracked and moved around often – I just blame it on my creative side. SO MANY IDEAS. SO LITTLE TIME.

To my fellow walking tornado’s – hi!
(I see you out there…you can’t hide).

I don’t know why but I’ve really been digging the retro styles lately. Maybe because so many old styles have been popping back up and planting their seeds in my subconscious.

I picked these jeans up a couple weekends ago for FIVE BUCKS. #ThanksHM

“I’m not a mom but I’ve got the pants for the job!”
…Who coined ‘Mom Jeans’, anyway?

These high-waisted flared babes are soft, and comfortable, and maybe they give me a “mom bod” (*insert controversy surrounding women wearing high-waisted jeans*) but that doesn’t offend me. Moms are humans who create other humans within their own bodies. Moms are badass…seriously, highest admiration for you all…and you read the part where I said they were 5 bucks, right?

Hell, if you can find any clothing item for 5 bucks I say buy it and rock the crap out of it. Who gives a hootenanny what anyone else says. Make it YOU.

It’s never your clothes that make you look amazing anyway; it’s the confidence you have in your glorious, incredible, strong, beautiful self.

(And a great pair of sunnies doesn’t hurt…)

Furthermore, I love these jeans because they give me a hint of a booty. All my “that’s-not-my-arse-it’s-just-extended-thigh” sisters will relate to me when I say I will take that hint WHENEVER I CAN. Who’s with me?!

Now, here’s to kicking whatever this is that’s dragging me down and onward to a wonderful (hopefully warm) weekend ahead!

❤

Twenty

I made it to Twenty. I can hardly believe it. This blog has been my love child for over 2 years now; it’s the execution that’s been the struggle. Woo for accomplishments, however small they may seem!

~~(note: no accomplishment is ever really small. celebrate every victory.)~~

Smiling tons lately because it feels more and more like Spring, which is ABSURD for February where I’m from…

(Canadian Prairies)

Spring Fever means florals!
This is one of my favourite shirts for obvi print reasons;
also it’s light and airy – perfect for Spring vibe-age.

Is that even a word? Vibe-age? Well, it is now.

Also, absolutely obsessed with these suede fringed booties from Aldo ❤
Something in my closet that is ACTUALLY IN SEASON for once.
(Style: WADIA -> Get them HERE)

I seem to have a favourite pose, but hey, if it works….right?

This leather jacket is from H&M (similar style HERE), and is easily the MOST worn item in my entire wardrobe. It’s been in my closet for a couple of years, and if I recall correctly I got it on clearance for less than 20 bucks. Super deal, right?! Fashion doesn’t have to break the bank, ladies (and gentlemen) 😉

Classic piece, goes with everything (literally), always in style.

Speaking of H&M, if you have never purchased a pair of Superstretch Treggings (trouser/leggings) THEN WHAT ARE YOU LIVING FOR.
But seriously.
These are a must-have staple. They stretch, they are black, did I mention they stretch?
They are also only $20…
So you really need to grab a pair. You’re welcome.

Something else we need to chat about before you return to your Hump Day activities.
Make-up related.

You probably already know since I’m a bit of a late bloomer in this department.

Recently got a sample of the Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion (Original)
(find it HERE)

I’ve tried other primers in the past, and even become a little creative in making primers from things that aren’t actually primers… I’ve never been impressed.

Then this little purple tube of magic liquid fell into my black and white striped bag and I was blown away.
IT LASTED THROUGH A SWEAT FEST. LITERALLY.
I wanted to really test it out, so I threw it on before my Zumba class.
I used it under MAC’s ORB shadow* and Kat Von D’s Ink Liner in Bukowski.

*(probably not the best choice since it’s exactly the same colour as my skin but hindsight is you know…)

Guys, if you knew how much I sweat in my class your mouth would be agape like mine was. It did not BUDGE. Not a crease or a smudge what-so-ever.
I even had to include some heavy elbow-grease when I attempted to remove it;
NOTHING was taking it off (not even my make up remover wipes).

Moral of the Story:
If you’re looking for a primer, then this UD product is the jackpot. Pick it up.
Or shame me for only discovering it now. Same-same.

Note: These photos (^^^) were taken *after* my Zumba class, not before.

Nineteen

Pre-apologies for the RBF in these photos.
Sorry, not sorry; that’s just my face.

Generally, people do yoga to create “zen”, to relieve stress, to unwind, to just be. That’s definitely why I started my personal yoga journey. Apparently, I actually do yoga to induce creative ideas. No relaxing or unwinding what-so-ever.

In referencing Eat Pray Love once again, my yoga experience in a nut shell:

“Okay. Simply empty your mind. Breathe. … Stop thinking. Why is this so hard?
Screw you Corella, how the hell does she do this?
She looks like friggin’ Mother Teresa.”

(Perhaps it had something to do with my glasses constantly falling off and annoying the absolute crap out of me)

Honestly, sometimes you just get ideas in your head that you have to rush home and try out. Black on black on black – AKA my every day wardrobe.

Not my every day wardrobe? Playing around with my makeup and hairstyles.
This = fun!

Lighting will be the end of me….

Fun fact: My late grandfather served in the RCAF (Royal Canadian Air Force) during the second World War. This ‘vintage’ bag find was a little feather from Heaven.
Now, I feel like I can carry a piece of such an important man everywhere I go.

To lighten things up:

PS: This hella cute jacket – an Ardene steal of a deal.

To end:
Here’s proof that I can smile (and in fact do so a lot IRL)

CHEERS TO THE FREAKIN’ WEEKEND!

❤

Eighteen

Tomorrow is Monday! The dreaded Monday… I’ve never really understood why Monday’s are so hated, honestly. Some weeks I’m wishing for a holiday only because I feel less accomplished than I’d like to…but I don’t have it out for the day like so many others seem to. What’s to hate about it?! It’s the beginning of a new week – a fresh start!

It can be tricky to transition from a day of relaxation to getting the gears back to work, but I always find that what I choose to wear has a great affect on my mood. Maybe for ‘Motivation Monday’ we need to focus on dressing the way we would like to feel, and cultivating that feeling through fashion!

I watched Eat Pray Love again the other day, and one quote stuck out to me more than ever. It states: “You have to learn to select your thoughts the same way that you select your clothes every day.” What a revelation! I feel like the two may go hand in hand – choosing your thoughts with intent, but also intertwining those thoughts and feelings with your wardrobe choice. Dress in a way that makes you feel motivated to GET OUT THERE and GET ER DONE!

Wide leg slacks have always been a favourite of mine, both inside and outside the office. As a more petite woman, I feel like they add length to my legs (which I will take however and whenever I can!). They also bring with them so much comfort, and from previous posts, you know that I love me some comfort in my wardrobe!
I received this wool trench for Christmas and it’s fast become one of my absolute favourite pieces. This jacket is SO warm, which is a must in our Canadian climate; it allows me to stay stylish even on the coldest of days. I fell in love with the structure of it before anything else. It fits like a glove, and its symmetrical lines are to die for.
A great bag is always a complement to a great outfit. I’ve spruced Louis up with a scarf to give him that extra *pop* he was needing. It’s a great way to spice up an older bag, and even the smallest addition (such as a scarf or a keychain) can give you the impression of a whole new bag!

What are your favourite ways to make Mondays more Merry?
(Perhaps a little unintentional alliteration?)